Prepare to have your perceptions of classical beauty – and perhaps even your own anatomy – re-examined. In History Hit’s new documentary, Dicking About, presenter Dr Kate Lister embarks on a fascinating investigation into one of Ancient Greek art’s most curious enduring mysteries: why are the magnificent male statues consistently depicted with surprisingly small penises?
From the chiselled physiques of gods to the stoic forms of athletes, Ancient Greek sculpture epitomises the male body ideal. Yet, one detail often draws attention, often provoking a raised eyebrow: the diminutive size of their sculpted genitalia. Is this an artistic oversight? A curious quirk? Or does it reveal a deeper truth about the essence of masculinity in Ancient Greece?
Watch Now
Throughout Ancient Greece’s vast timeline, from its mysterious Dark Ages through its Archaic, Classical, and Hellenistic periods, each era boasted distinct cultural norms, artistic styles, and varying representations of the human form.
Kate delves into original sources to understand what the Ancient Greeks truly valued when it came to male anatomy. Did size matter in Ancient Greece? She explores the impact of Dionysiac rituals and the works of Greek playwright Aristophanes, uncovering a prevailing view that may challenge modern perceptions.
The documentary also addresses the question of missing members on many ancient statues. Kate goes behind the scenes at the British Museum to explore the ‘Museum Secretum’, a hidden part of the museum full of erotic antiquities, to explore the historical reasoning behind the frequent absence of genitalia on many ancient sculptures.
With her trusty tape measure in hand, Kate also heads to the Cambridge Museum of Classical Archaeology. There, she meets its Director, Classicist Professor Caroline Vout, to examine a renowned sculpture: Doryphoros – ‘The Spear Carrier’. Created by Polykleitos, an artist famous for his treatise on perfect human proportion, Doryphoros’s body, while beautifully rendered, still deviates from real-world male anatomy – particularly in the genital area.

Kate Lister talks to Director of the Cambridge Museum of Classical Archaeology, Classicist Professor Caroline Vout.
Image Credit: History Hit
So, why this artistic choice? In the documentary, Kate explores several compelling theories, each shedding light on different facets of Ancient Greek society and philosophy.
Was it about self-control, restraint, and intellectualism, a reflection of the Greek ideal of the civilised man who masterfully controlled his natural urges? Did it tie into their emphasis on rational thought and freedom to pursue wisdom, as suggested by figures like Plato? Or was it simply about aesthetics, creating a “neat, tidy” appearance that avoided distraction? Kate also delves into more provocative ideas around youth as well as ancient theories about the male body and reproduction.

Kate Lister conducting her research (both at the Cambridge Museum of Classical Archaeology and the British Museum)
Image Credit: History Hit
Dicking About is not just about what’s on display; it’s about what these sculptures and artistic choices reveal about a civilisation that profoundly shaped Western thought. By examining these surprising details, we uncover profound insights into Ancient Greek ideals of masculinity, beauty, self-control, and their stark contrast with the “barbarians” they defined themselves against.
Join Kate Lister as she uncovers the fascinating, and often surprising, reasons behind one of the most curious features of classical art.
Watch Now